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Me and The Monkey Go To The Beach

Me And The Monkey

Me and The Monkey

Some Random Pictures of The Monkey

Monkey and the Doctor

We went to the doctors office for a follow visit for an ear infection. All was well until, The SHOT. Even the prodding in her ears was not a problem.

I thought that we were going to be OK. She looked at the needle as if she was ready for her No Fear bumper sticker. Then there was the scream. I did the only thing I could do in that situation. Put 4 tounge depressers in my mouth and jump around. That did it. To quote Ozzy Osbourne, "No More Tears".

All was good until The Monkey found the mini hammer used to test your reflexes. She wanted to keep hitting me in the head with it. I did my part. Momma can take her next time. And she might have to because the Doc didn't like me touching his stuff.

More Singing With The Monkey

Well, I have taught myself some children’s song. Appropriate children’s songs. And now, we have a new dilemma, The Monkey likes to act out the only songs that I know. At bedtime, when we sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider, she will do the spider motions. She does this while laying down. Because if I am singing, we are thisclose to sleepy time.
I introduced a new song last night. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Maybe you have heard it. It has a good beat and I can dance to it. While I was on the 2nd line of the song, The Monkey jumps up and reaches her arms above her head and points to her palm. WTF??? Scared the crap out of me. I thought we were getting mugged.
I did the only logical thing that I could think of. I asked her to tell me the songs she didn’t know. Then I remembered that I am trying to communicate with somebody who has a vocabulary of 10-15 words.
So, tonight, I will try a new song. A made up song. A song that there is no way that she knows.

Singing to the Monkey At Bedtime

The Monkey has been giving us an interesting week. The other night I decided to start singing to her at night before she goes to bed. It turns out that I don't know any appropriate children’s songs. I grew up on NIN, Marilyn Manson, and GWAR. I think I could recite any of these albums. Especially the GWAR album with Sex Cow on it. I had a revelation the other night-the lyrics " I want to F*** You like an animal" and "Death Pod come from the sky" are not appropriate bedtime songs for children.

So I decided to try to sing some other songs. Turns out the only other music that I know most of the words to is some hard core gay ass adult contemporary. These songs are more appropriate for the little people-but not for adult men to sing. I even tried to struggle through the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Some children’s songs are not good for bedtime. An example of this would be any song that involves the child’s interaction. I started to sing Old MacDonald Had A Farm. Her reaction to this song was amazing to watch. When I started The Itsy Bitsy Spider, she flipped over onto her back and started to make the spider with her hands. I knew that I was going to have to outsmart her with my gay ass adult contemporary. I never thought that I could use the music that puts adults to sleep, to put the Monkey to sleep.

I would like to thank Tracy Chapman and Tina Turner for helping put the Monkey to sleep. If it wasn’t for Tracy’s Fast Car and Tina’s Private Dancer. We could have been in for a long night. My next adventure will be into voice lessons. Since I am not a singer and I don’t want The Monkey thinking that I am one of the Walmart carolers.

Hop On Pop

The Monkey's new favorite bedtime book is Hop On Pop. I can tell this is her favorite because she doesn't try to flip ahead to the next page before I am done reading the first sentence. Like she does on Pepper Kitty. And we enjoy seeing her scream when a character named "Pat" goes to sit on his cat. Funny thing is that he tries to sit on the cat almost every night, and every night she screams some babytalk-ese of "DON"TSITONTHECATPAT!!!!!!" She also like me to read her the book as she sits on my belly. Which, to me is a strange coincidence.

Hopefully she won't have the same reaction to Green Eggs and Ham

Full Moon

How can I tell???
The Office Crazy Talk increases to a comedic level of entertainment. Why can't there be sick days for people that knwo they say idiotic things when there is a full moon.

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My Precious:CrackaBerry

I have developed a new relationship with My Berry. I am using it a lot more than before. Because aver since TextAmerica deleted my account for having too many pictures on their free account, I don't use my cam phone as much. This thing has Google Maps. And is a lot easier to type on when driving. I just wish it took pictures. Maybe for the next one.

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The Hairless Monkeys At Work are Getting Squeemish-Is It A Full Moon

The Hairless Monkeys are acting strange today. There must be a full moon. They are acting more paranoid than usual. And have sucked the non-paranoid people into the black hole with them. Usually they are tolerable, but when they act as a group they are too much too handle.
Today's conspiracy theory is how "they" track our information on the return addresses that we hand write on envelopes. The person sucked into this drama stated that they use preprinted label. This led to the possibility of "them", I assume this is the previously mentioned "they", tracking you by fingerprint.

Other than that, today is going to be a good day. Enve though it is raining here in town.

Were do these people get this information to entertain the crazy talk.