Monkey and the Doctor

We went to the doctors office for a follow visit for an ear infection. All was well until, The SHOT. Even the prodding in her ears was not a problem.

I thought that we were going to be OK. She looked at the needle as if she was ready for her No Fear bumper sticker. Then there was the scream. I did the only thing I could do in that situation. Put 4 tounge depressers in my mouth and jump around. That did it. To quote Ozzy Osbourne, "No More Tears".

All was good until The Monkey found the mini hammer used to test your reflexes. She wanted to keep hitting me in the head with it. I did my part. Momma can take her next time. And she might have to because the Doc didn't like me touching his stuff.

Singing to the Monkey At Bedtime

The Monkey has been giving us an interesting week. The other night I decided to start singing to her at night before she goes to bed. It turns out that I don't know any appropriate children’s songs. I grew up on NIN, Marilyn Manson, and GWAR. I think I could recite any of these albums. Especially the GWAR album with Sex Cow on it. I had a revelation the other night-the lyrics " I want to F*** You like an animal" and "Death Pod come from the sky" are not appropriate bedtime songs for children.

So I decided to try to sing some other songs. Turns out the only other music that I know most of the words to is some hard core gay ass adult contemporary. These songs are more appropriate for the little people-but not for adult men to sing. I even tried to struggle through the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Some children’s songs are not good for bedtime. An example of this would be any song that involves the child’s interaction. I started to sing Old MacDonald Had A Farm. Her reaction to this song was amazing to watch. When I started The Itsy Bitsy Spider, she flipped over onto her back and started to make the spider with her hands. I knew that I was going to have to outsmart her with my gay ass adult contemporary. I never thought that I could use the music that puts adults to sleep, to put the Monkey to sleep.

I would like to thank Tracy Chapman and Tina Turner for helping put the Monkey to sleep. If it wasn’t for Tracy’s Fast Car and Tina’s Private Dancer. We could have been in for a long night. My next adventure will be into voice lessons. Since I am not a singer and I don’t want The Monkey thinking that I am one of the Walmart carolers.

The Monkey (aka Baby Kahuna )

The Monkey is feeling better after having some type of cough that knocked her on her butt for the last week. I got to spend the day with her. I had a feeling she was feeling better when she started laughing during the wrong part of Finding Nemo. You know the part where a shark named Bruce appears. She couldn't stop laughing. And the part where Nemo is taken by the divers. LHAO. I don't know where she got that trait from, but she is feeling much better.

I also knew she was feeling better when we went out to the store for milk and stopped at the McD's in the store for an ice cream cone-and she went Hog Wild.

New Monkey Video on You Tube

I just posted a video of the Monkey dancing to my cellphone ringtone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLjjhTy-48g

Enjoy